72 SEO-chasing headlines to (mostly) laugh at today

From here. More in the next post…

  1. Send in Your Stories About the World’s Worst Roommate
  2. Here’s a Young Jon Stewart, Moshing at a Dead Kennedys Show (Update: Probably Not)
  3. How Old Does Google Think You Are?
  4. Yes, This Is a Picture of Terry Richardson Fucking (Someone Who Looks Like Juliette Lewis) [Update]
  5. That’s Not Juliette Lewis Getting Boned by Terry Richardson, Juliette Lewis’s Publicist Says
  6. Video: L.A. Cops Shoot a Guy Point-Blank Outside a Carl’s Jr.
  7. This Is a Picture of Miley Cyrus Eating a Penis Cake
  8. What if Posters for Oscar-Nominated Movies Told the Truth?
  9. Here Is the Creepiest Thing You Will See All Year
  10. The Drug That Hospitalized Demi Moore: Whip-Its
  11. It Turns Out Seal Was Kind Of A Dick To Heidi Klum
  12. Behold, the Most Obnoxious Christmas Letter Ever
  13. The Harrowing Before-and-After Photos of Two Years in Solitary
  14. A Hedge Fund Manager’s Bizarre, Lengthy Response to a Declined Second Date
  15. Swimming in a Kiddie Pool of Vomit and Semen’: Life as a Dartmouth ‘Whale Shit’
  16. Boyfriend to Gaga: ‘Be Normal’
  17. I Can’t Stop Looking At This Weird Chinese Boat
  18. All the Dirty Rumors About Demi Moore’s Wild Whip-It Partying and Hospitalization
  19. Gawker Will Be Conducting An Experiment, Please Enjoy Your Free Cute Cats Singing And Sideboobs
  20. The Beautiful Decay of a Theater Hidden Above a New York Bodega
  21. I Can’t Stop Staring at Cyber Woman With Corn
  22. These Two Awesome Videos Have Gone Viral, According To People Who Make Awesome Videos Go Viral
  23. Which Rapper Shared Some Women with Another Celebrity in Sundance?
  24. I Can’t Stop Looking at This Weird Chinese Goat
  25. All the Absolutely Insane Things Former SNL Tea Party Lunatic Victoria Jackson Has to Say
  26. Kevin Federline, Ex-Husband Of Britney Spears, Hospitalized Due To Chest Pains Caused By Fatness
  27. The Most Adorable Cat Video You’ll See All Afternoon
  28. Teen Calls Cops On Mom For Having Sex Too Loudly
  29. Pat Sajak: I Was Drunk on Wheel of Fortune So Many Times
  30. Courtney Sheber Is America’s Hottest College Girl: A Review
  31. This Is What the Voice of the Honey Badger Video Looks Like
  32. This Is the Profile I Use to Cruise for Sex
  33. The 65 Hottest Pics Of Heidi Klum: A Review
  34. Little Girl Slaps Mom with Piece of Pizza, Saves Life
  35. Poor Reality Show Star’s Bathing Suit Top Becomes Unfastened, Top Of Nipple Partially Visible, Paper Says
  36. A Hilarious Impersonation of Kim Richards Talking About the Oscars
  37. Demi Moore’s Drug Problem: Adderall?
  38. I Can’t Stop Looking At This Sexy Australian Photo Shoot
  39. L.A. Quasi-Cop Who Made Uniformed Porno Wants His Job Back
  40. Sex Punching Not for Everyone, Sex Writer Reports
  41. Tim Gunn Needs To Shut Up About Not Having Sex in Almost 30 Years
  42. Here Is the Best Video of Chinese Soldiers Playing ‘Hot Potato’ With a Live Grenade You Will Ever See
  43. Idiot Cop Takes Photo of Teens, Guns, Bullet-Ridden Obama T-Shirt
  44. Could Demi Moore’s Decade-Long Red Bull ‘Addiction’ Have Contributed to Her Collapse?
  45. James O’Keefe Asked Me to Help Him Sue Liberal Media Outlets
  46. Fox News Anchor and Son of NYPD Commissioner Accused of Rape
  47. Crazed Butt Injector Brawls with Victims on Daytime TV
  48. Tracy Morgan Collapses At Sundance Festival But Not Because Of Drugs, Alcohol Or Kevin Federline’s Fatness
  49. Intrepid Blogger Determines Ice Cube’s ‘Good Day’: January 20, 1992
  50. 50 Cent Will Tweet a Picture of His Penis if the Giants Lose the Super Bowl
  51. Boy Sues School Newspaper for Illustrating STD Article with His Face
  52. Mitt Romney Made $45 Million Over the Last Two Years Doing Literally Nothing at All
  53. Colorado Teen Girl Recalls Train Accident: “I was watching my legs get crushed by coal cars.”
  54. How Much Money Is NBC News Wasting In Our Office Right Now?
  55. Armed Forces Return to DEFCON Five as Blow Job Movie Gets New Feminist Icon
  56. Brian Williams Talked as Much as Ron Paul at Last Night’s Debate
  57. Joseph Gordon-Levitt Sure Looks Cute Playing ‘Hey Jude’ at Sundance
  58. The Paranoid Conspiracy Theory of a T.A. Who Says Yale Is a ‘Freemason’ ‘Sea-Monster’
  59. Third Hangover Movie Imminent
  60. Hero Rhodes-Declining Yale QB Withdrew Over Sex Assault Claims, Not Harvard Game
  61. Watch the Vile Muslim-Hating Film the NYPD Used to Train Its Officers
  62. Is This Baby Aardvark Cute, Or Is It a Hideous Mole Monster?
  63. The Top Nine Videos Of Babies Farting And/Or Laughing With Kittens
  64. Company That Owns Costa Concordia Offers Customers 30 Percent Off Their Next Non-Sinking Cruise
  65. Click Here to See Rick Santorum’s Cock Shot
  66. An Article About Literacy Is the Worst Place to Misspell ‘Literate’ (Updated)
  67. Penguin Shits on Senate Floor
  68. Bizarre Slave-Ship Spot Is an Early Contender for Best/Worst Campaign Ad of 2012
  69. Prepare To Get Starbombed On Starbooze: Some Starbucks Locations Will Begin Selling Wine And Beer
  70. Mitt Romney Music Video Has Gone Viral, Too
  71. Julian Assange’s Transformation Into a Fameball Is Now Complete
  72. If Joe Paterno Is Your Enemy, Fred Phelps Still Can’t Be Your Friend

2 thoughts on “72 SEO-chasing headlines to (mostly) laugh at today

  1. Pingback: Where chasing traffic meets sound journalism: Gawker’s experiment | Online Journalism Blog

  2. Pingback: Where chasing traffic meets “important” journalism: Gawker’s experiment | Online Journalism Blog

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